Hadeh!! Some random thought!

04Sep11

Yo,

After so many things happened in my life and months of neglecting/abandoning this blog, here I am back to write some of my thought. I dont know I just feel I wanna express my feelings this time, and maybe a chance to revive my blog again perhaps.

Well the week has been started slow and a bit of discouraging, nothing really much happen even within weekdays, towards weekend started to get the engine going but at the same time must deal with some stuff so kinda bit disheartening as well. I know you might be confuse, heck I’m also confuse why am I writing this now. so bare with me.

Monday is really very very boring cant even remember what I did, I just glad it’s over. Oh wait, I was having KTV session with some of my strikeforce buddies, Gosh it was actually not too bad, except the rude waitress that talk in harsh way to us, was so bad even my female friend complain to her supervisor. Yup. Moving on to Tuesday, day was Hari Raya/Lebaran holiday, was expecting for something that exciting but nothing really happened until about 6pm I met up with few of friends from Indo service for dinner at Garuda Padang resto at Vivo City, sure glad it made my day to talk to these people. Then Wednesday,, can’t remember anything happened on that day

Thursday daytime was extremely slow at office I just wanted to knock off soon so I can go cell group, play cajon meet my family E406. which happened later on, and on CG, Wayne played video of Pastor Kong talking about having vision and dreams, what will you like to be in 5 years, in areas of Community (family/friends), Carries/Studies, and Church. Well, as exciting as I penned down some thoughts, for Community well in five years I would like to see myself happily married, with woman that I love, has pretty smile, really wish shes Indo, love God and love my family, and support me all the way. For Carriers, I see myself as businessman, I want it to be something to do with IT, if not trading, something like agent for import commodities. Church, I definitely wants to go for SOT, its a school program for theology held by my church, and I also want to be cellgroup guitarist. – I came back home that night fells very exciting about my future.

Friday I’m in love.. surely did. For the first time in my live I went for vocal/singing course. Never been to any kind of this before. I’m all excited and nervous at same time. Why u ask? Well my teacher happen to be band lead vocals of Goodfellas, home-band of Timbre, the band and the bar is actually widely known in Spore. I’ve been a big fans of this person because of his bright voice, and he able sing the high notes. After come tad too early to the class, I finally met him, there he was stand in front of me, talk casually. Owh man, my dream came true, learn vocals from somebody I’m a fan of. Wait, did I mention that he’s also Indo? I mean how coincidence?  What a talent that my country Indonesia have. I learned about chest voice, head voice, and how important as a singer is to do voice practice and warm up everyday. wow. well he did mention about all the vocals technique but its all fly out of my brain now thanks to me I forgot not to record the lesson. Well In the end of session he asked me to sing one song for him so that he can listened to my voice color. I had many songs in mind actually, but dang I choose the easy one, Use somebody by King of Leon. Ackhh, been singing that songs like forever, why did i choose that? But it sounded not too bad, in fact I don’t know why that could be the most confident time that I sang this song ever, and I sung it comfortably, I attributed it to the warm up he gave me before-during the lesson, how awesome!!

Alright fast forward to Saturday I woke up quite late like 11am, then call my mom and dad to catch up things with them and also to talked about this business idea that I had, which I pray it will come to pass not just to be some wish wash and be throwed to wastebin. Went to service at 7am, had amazing service with Phil Pringle, he (again) talked about Vision and dreams from Habakuk 2:1-3, how your dream can seem to go die and gone ashtray but actually it was God’s plan to turn that way. Think about how Jesus was given a vision by God that he would become savior of the world, but yes firstly he need to be dead, be crucified on the cross for our sins. AMAZING! Feel very encouraging, and after it ends, had a late fellowship dinner with Cellgroup, then I went back home.

As I walked from MRT station to my block, I feel that I need to talk to Deni, so I call him. Well we talked for one hour plus in overseas call, Haha, so gay! he mentioned he’s very happy that I called him because he was in his parents hometown back at Kebumen and how quite the place/village is, it’s so not his type, Hahaha! yeah so I talked about the vocal class that I went to and also about the business idea, how if it possible to do it Jakarta, he happily welcome the idea, he even think it could be huge if we package and market it well.

Finish talking to him I went back home but to my surprise when I’m about to sleep the scariest thing happen in my house. Just FYI, looking at how many things happened in my life I don’t want to take thing too seriously, but well yeah now that I think back this was seriously scary. What’s the deal?

Well my landlord is a 60ish y.o lady, live together with her son 40 y.o, had some serious problem with drinking. Last night he went back home at 1am, drunk. He shouted loud (he did many times so at first I took it lightly), but after a while I heard glass shattered, sounded like it was punched. And after that another punch, this time like to plank of wood, “must be the iron board” I thought. True enough after a while Aunty (the lady owner) knock my door ask my help to sit next to him calm him down. I saw blood coming from his forehand, and lot of blood drip on the floor. He was yammering and blabbering nonsense (he’s drunk duh), but even after I come he still talking but realizing that I was next to him then he started to get calm.

A flashback, I think to myself, happened before it happened again this time. When I still stay with my uncle, this same thing happened, he got so angry because i talked back to him, he throwed the ashtray to the floor and then punch the glass table. His hand was bleeding so much I think it cuts the vein, still give me goosebump as I writing this.

Today after I went back from Elisa’s birthday, I just had a H2H talk with my lady owner, she opened up about his son. How bad his past is, and how he always quit from his job because of his lack working quality that makes the employer not happy and fired him. I don’t know what to reply, I just tell her keep praying for her son, that this could be one of God’s plan. I entered my room, and I cry. I had a soft spot for people burden, because I had so much burden in my life that I thought it feels heavy, but yet there’s still another people who has burden even greater than me. I’m still lucky, I should have never take granted with what God has given to me, I shoulda work harder, and not wasting time to procrastinate, be lazy.

So there you go guys, some story of my life, am not a good writer or even good storytelling, and there even no insight about this post. Well even if there is, I would say, Guys, please don’t take for granted with what you are and what you have today. Stay happy and positive!

Ciao!

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Hectic weeks ever

21Mar10

For the past 2 weeks, my life has been very hectic like never before. you know, personally i was bit surprise i could be this busier, since it never happende to me before, but actually i asked God to makes me busier in life. since i’m away in somewhere land, so I felt that I need to go out if not i will die of boredom. Funny though, but again to think of it, it juat another phase of my life, which a few years too late i presume.

I saw many people blogging this kind of story, like how they spend their week, and i thought it’s a bit funny, and yet here i am writing exactly the same thing..

Let me break it down:
Monday: I forgot where I was..still thinking..ok i give up, i forgot..o yeah, i was attending youth meeting at my expo, ended quite late actually, anyway its okay since Edmund gave me free ride and good thing i can spoke with Edmund on the way back home.
Tuesday: I’m collecting my baby,,my cajon, it’s an acoustic drum, u just google and i bet u saw it before.
Wednesday: You See, I forget again..short term memory loss…still trying..if im not wrong this the only day that I didnt go anywhere.
Thursday: Movement class with Aaron something something, this guy is interesting, and yeah we spent 2 hours doing nothing but listening to crap.
Friday: I went to meet up Hardi, and his girlfriend..they are dealing with some issue in hteir relationship, so i pray for my dear friend to be strong and though..after meet up, we rushing to orchard, which we’re late and some of cg member were unhappy with us, my firsttime to this cg, and i’m late, and i’m together with cellgroup guitarist, haha. so we had a fun time, ther, in fact i was sharing my testimony, and yeah it was wonderful time of fellowship.
Saturday: Went lunch with ncus at nasi babi Alex at Bugis, we talk talk talk and talk about a lot of stuff..how everything’s going on and how do we look at life, ask one another when we will get married since most of our friend has done it. and they already got babies..
And then after that, I rush to expo changi, my church for bible study, and lo and behold, there’s an accident therefor i was stuck in the train nearly 20 minutes, of all days and hours, why does it has to be happen when i’m about to be late, and in the end, yes i was late.
BS started, amazing class and praise by Jimmy, after it I’m attending service, Ps Tan was sharing the word from Acts, about how the Holy Spirit will come and make unity among us all, only then we become as one family.
After Service, We got some news that some friends from other CG being transferred to us because of one thing. Noone knows what are the thing yet, but time will tell. And so we were supposed to go to Food court, so off we walked, until I realized there’s only me, alone with all the new friends, And I got to converse with them. God you really know to test me don’t you. There I was standing with them, try to speak as best and as clear as I could, in my broken, and trying-too-much English. T.T but it was good, finally my friend came down, and gradually Wayne and Ching Feung came, and we talked alot of stuff.
Fellowship over but we got other thing to do, we need to go down to Adeline’s Grandma funeral wake, so off we go there, sit down nicely, show respect to the dead body, (i know some of you wouldnt understand what im saying, but anyway who’s reading this?) Around 11 we decided to go off home, and small embarasing moment happen, which involving me.
And I reach my place around 1.
Sunday: Which is today, in the morning I went for bowling competition, was held by my company, which such an occasion are rarely happen, so if there is a chance to go and enjoy moment of relaxing with other colleagues we have to use it, don’t we? actually most of it because i never played bowling for quite long time ago..haaha
Finished at 12, I stiill need to go for Captains ball competition held by my CG. Rushed down to Bartley MRT, which after I reached Paya Lebar I didnt know how to go there. In a result, I was alighting at the wrong bus stop, because the uncle driver misleaded me. Even after I arrived at the correct bus stop, I ‘m still lost, I confused and have no idea how to come to the field. I took the wrong entrance, after I realized I was wrong, I have to make one big round again to walk to the actual place. Played games, raining, sun comes back, game continued, and I played. amazingly, my team goes to third place, hahaha, thanks to the tall guy that can jump and blocked very well, all the my mates that tiredlessly run every corner , back and forth, on the field to get some score. but It was nice game, and tired.

There you go, my scratch, just try to write somthing this time, but couldnt come out with a bright idea (as usual)

So see you again..now sleep sleep, tomorrow need to go work!!

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flying off to Java Jazz 2010

05Mar10

I’ll be flying off to Jakarta in a couple hours, and yes to watch the one and only Java Jazz Festival 2010..wohooo!!!
Tomorrow will be a wonderful and colourful day of Jazz performance, Maliq will be there, Lee Ritenour, and many other performances, I just couldnt wait until tomorrow comes..

See ya there, fellas!!!

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FOCUS!

18Feb10

I got one word that keep haunting me at the moment. procrastinate.

Just recently I found out that word in one of biggest Indonesian website forum. The Thread starter was complaining how he is benig procrastinate in his job. Was not understand of what the word means, I searched on my tiny freeware dict app, and I figured it doesn’t sounds too different with the situation I’m dealing now.

Lately I have not concetrating in my work, not being focus, browse website too much instead of finishing all my postponed task. I dont understand why, I become this lazy scumbag recently.

If I try to trace back of what makes me become like this, maybe because I’m person that wants to know everything at the same time, I’m easy to be distracted, easy to lost focus, and easy too get bored. Now this is seriously bad, I must say. Something has to be done.

Well, I post another one if I have found the way out.

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I’m feeling like a jerk-ass

16Feb10

I just broke up with my girlfriend. The relationship lasted for 3 years until yesterday we decided to separate, start a new page of our own life. Of course like many break up stories that has been told, there’s a reason lies behind it. But I think for a good sake I won’t share it here, I just feel I don’t need too.

It’s hard, for her, I mean for me as well, but she got it worst, it struck her pretty hard. I don’t totally understand why, maybe because girls are sensitive than guys. Maybe because its hard for her to let me go. I’m not trying to be a good guy here, on the other way, this just make me feel bad and terrible.

I feel like a scumbag, ungrateful bastard that couldn’t accepted her of what she is. I cried. I cried a bucket of tears. I know I’ll be okay to carry on, but I couldn’t help to wonder if she will able to. Uhhuuu. God, am I making the right the choice? Am I trying to mould your way to be my way? Uhhhuuu.

Tears are coming out from my eyes as I writing these words. No kidding.

I feel messed up right now. Help me God.

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